14 September 2007

Booker Owes Me a T-Shirt: The Classic Jams of K-Rock


Bet you never thought you'd see this again

I, like most of you, am of the last generation of Americans whose teenage years came and went before the advent of the mp3, illegal downloading, and the iPod. Sure, we had computers, and even internet connections - mostly dial-up, and mostly via the Gestapo of the information autobahn, America Online (I got TOS-ed once for heckling in a chat room; how do you like me now, motherfuckers?) - but hi-tech was still on the periphery as a source for both information and entertainment.

In celebration of those heady days of driving around, hanging out in parking lots, and whacking the shit out of mailboxes with baseball bats, here are some highlights from the Voice of Liberty, WXRK New York, K-Rock who recently arose from the dead when its abortive shift to an all-talk format flopped.


Lo Fidelity Allstars - "Battleflag"

There was a time when The Prodigy, The Crystal Method et al were actually considered fodder for mainstream rock radio. If it came out a year or two earlier or later, "Battleflag" would have been a Brits-only curio, like Denim or Ocean Colour Scene or something, instead of a rather frequently spun K-Rock fave. Still tough to believe this was sammiched between Metallica and The Offspring or something.


The Offspring - "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)"

Speaking of which. There was once a time when The Offspring were a semi-respectable grunge-punk (?) act with alternahits like "Come Out and Play" and the still classic "Self Esteem". "Pretty Fly" pretty much put a lid on that phase, turning the Offspring into a full-time sub-Blink 182 dick-and-fart joke outfit. Admittedly, having no taste when I was 16, I thought the shit was great.


Incubus - "Drive"

Admittedly, I never had much use for Incubus; their music is eyeliner-wearing puss-rock, but for some reason, K-Rock listeners do love their puss-rock balladry (see: Stain'd). I imagine these guys are driving around in the band Scion, calling each other bro and drinking Mad Dog 20/20 out of a paper bag.


Powerman 5000 - "When Worlds Collide"

There were a lot of one-hit wonders on K-Rock; Powerman holds up as one of the best. I saw these guys open for Kid Rock in '99 at Hammerstein Ballroom, and they were almost better than the headliner. Unfortunately, while they did have day-glo space suits and shit, they did not have strippers, complete with poles. Snap.


Lit - "My Own Worst Enemy"

Lit once had it all - a radio-ready hit single, a video where they played on a gigantic Pamela Anderson (the not as-bad-as-all-that "Miserable"), goatees. Now, who knows? This video was clearly the product of the late '90's lounge-lizard craze that was kicked off by The Big Lebowski and Swingers and ended tragically in Smashmouth.


Blink 182 - "Dammit"

This song was a fork in the road for Blink. Their next album was titled Enema of the State, and their fate as the thinking man's Bloodhound Gang was sealed.


Limp Bizkit - "The Nookie"

Believe it or not, these guys were probably the biggest band in the world non-U2 division circa 1998-99. Fred Durst was the Chuck Berry, if you will, of rap rock.


Linkin Park - "One Step Closer"

And the rap rock Beatles. Interestingly, Linkin Park seemed to have ditched the now-passe hip-hop aspect of their music and hopped on the emo bandwagon: allegedly their new record features no rapping whatsoever (I guess Mike Shinoda will have plenty of time to work on the second Fort Minor album). LP is keeping on strong, having three consecutive multi-platinum albums to their credit, including 2007's Minutes to Midnight. That's more than you can say, certainly, for


Papa Roach - "Last Resort"

Now, even a cynic like me is forced to admit that this song is still kinda catchy. "Last Resort" is kind of a pre-millennial perfect storm of nu-rock tropes: the rapping (obv.), the larynx-shredding screaming, the woe-is-me lyrical content, the fisheye camera lens, white kids throwing gang signs in a rock music video. Unlike Linkin Park, Papa Roach promptly announced their intentions to seek legitimacy, with frontman Coby Dick dropping his nom de rock in favor of his given name, Jacoby Shaddix and publicly swearing off the rapping - which, as you may have noticed, is pretty integral to the success of the hit single off of the platinum album. You'll also note that no one talks about Papa Roach anymore. Hmmm.


System of a Down - "Sugar"

The success of Rage Against the Machine inspired a legion of politically incoherent leftist rock groups; System of a Down, who would later release a b-sides record cleverly titled Steal This Album, is one of those groups. Of course, the lyrics, which one would assume to be the main method of delivery for the band's constructive "fuck the System, the System's fucked" message, are virtually unintelligible. America's unwitting, uncomprehending youth failed to heed the message and rise up; hence the Machine grinds on.


Deftones - "Back to School (Mini Maggit)"

The Deftones were kind of the Next Big Thing That Never Was. Their White Pony record was one of the most relentlessly hyped albums of the late '90s, and it didn't see release until 2000 (I saw them at Ozzfest '99, almost exactly a year before White Pony came out, and they had promotional banners for the record on stage). Interestingly, "Back to School" wasn't even initially on White Pony; it was a re-recorded version of album closer "Pink Maggit" released by the band when their label, Madonna's Maverick imprint, ran out of marketable singles. Honestly, this song may be the best sounding thing here.


Eminem - "My Name Is"

This motherfucker. The late '90s was a pretty fascinating era musically, when you consider the fact that mainstream rock of the era was openly embracing hip hop as an influence. Method Man was hanging out on Fred Durst's couch; Ice Cube was on the Family Values Tour. Of course, this cross pollination was a one-way street; good luck getting play on K-Rock if you were a black rapper. But if your name was Eminem, well, come right on it. Em soon distanced himself from the rap rock crowd in favor of playing up his 8 Mile street cred, but in the summer of '99, you could be forgiven for not taking him seriously.


Korn - "Freak on a Leash"

If there was one band that served as the center of the K-Rock constellation, it was Korn. Their confessional rage-out style (lead single Jonathan Davis was infamously molested as a child) coupled with their embrace of the rhythm bridged the gap between grunge and nu-rock. Their Family Values Tour was a seminal rock event during the late '90s, boasting the biggest names in nu-rock: Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Incubus, Staind, and Rammstein to name just a few. Their video for "Freak on a Leash" managed to reach number one on MTV's Total Request Live with virtually no promotional push by the band or its label. Now, I'm not endorsing Korn (never liked them myself, really), but it's pretty remarkable to consider the fact that at one time, these guys were contemporary rock and roll in America.